my strong-willed daughter

my dad told me that i was not really strong-willed when i was younger. gretchen wasn’t all that tough, either. so i don’t know where ella gets it. but she has an iron will. if she has decided that she wants something, it is nearly impossible to steer her away from it. it’s very challenging, especially for gretchen who is with her all day. (i’m not complaining, mind you. ella’s a very good kid, and relatively easy…i think that’s why her iron will is so difficult for us, cause she’s otherwise very easy.)

so this morning, as i was heading out the door to go to work, i heard gretchen say, “come on ella, let’s trim your nails.” well, ella wasn’t having any of that. she’s not afraid of the nail clippers or anything, but she just didn’t feel like sitting still at that moment. and she couldn’t be bothered with holding her hand motionless for the 37 seconds it takes gretchen to clip ella’s talons.

so gretchen’s holding ella on her lap. ella’s squirming. gretchen is holding her tighter. ella is squirming stronger. gretchen is grappling with the little angel with one hand and attempting a precision cuticle trim with the other…on a moving target. (and where are you at, big daddy? go upstairs and help your wife! i didn’t even think about that until just now as i was writing this…that’s a whole different post.) and i hear ella say, “you’re hurting me, mommy!” gretchen replies, “this wouldn’t hurt if you would just hold still and cooperate.” she wasn’t trying to hurt ella. gretch was just trying to help her, to do something that was ultimately good for her…as well as for the rest of us, who are constant victims of her inadvertent talon scratches.

…

maybe she does get that from me. i’ve said that lots of times. “ow, crap, this hurts! why do i have to go through this?! just let me be!!” and i have imagined God replying the same way that gretchen did this morning: “this wouldn’t hurt if you would just hold still and cooperate.” or “this wouldn’t hurt so much now, if you had payed attention earlier when i tried to protect you from this.” meanwhile, i’m kicking and flailing all over the place. making it as hard as i can for goodness and help to catch up with me.

what are you learning right now? what help are you avoiding because you just don’t want to sit still long enough for somebody to do it? how long will you endure the pain that you’re suffering before you hand it over to somebody who is big and strong enough to handle it?

hold still.

Posted on December 14th, 2009 by deWeb
Filed under: Uncategorized

Viewing 4 Comments

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    A & G....the post is excellent and not to sidebar but I can help you solve the talon problem. Take her to a nail shop. My beautiful princess will not let you anywhere near her fingers or toes to trim the, screams like you are actually taking a pint of blood. Take her to a nail shop and you guessed it...a perfect angel. Glad to be able to follow you guys through your website, really miss your mom and dad here in SUNNY CALI. Love you guys
    Mike & Missy Palmer
    Riverside, CA
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    neva, good to hear from you! maybe we'll try the nail shop...my guess
    is that she'd get knocked out by the fumes on the way in, so she
    wouldn't be able to fuss even if she wanted to!

    we miss visiting them in sunny ca. :)
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    wow. i happened upon this blog a while back and just checked in again. but this is so true. i had a very similar convo earlier today. i'm totally in the middle of a bad situation that i completely, willingly created for myself, knowing better. the person i was talking to about it asked if i had prayed about it. and i almost laughed out loud and told her, 'of course not, i know god's not cool with this' and i was shocked, didnt really realize i knew it until i said it outloud. and now i feel stuck. how do i get out of it? when looking back there were red flags all along the way. but i squirmed right through them going after what i thought i wanted. crazy how we think we know whats best for us. like the 'rules' dont apply to the people who grew up in the church, those are for people who dont know better, not for us. just listening in the first place, i could have avoided so much heartache.
    so anyway, i dont even know you. but thanks for this and sorry for the ranting, it was good for me to scribble it out here. so thanks.
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    • v
    exactly. good post. thanks.
 
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